Bush Be F**king Wit Us
We interupt this program for a special bulletin.
Ok..so...if you live in the DC area...you had to hear about the "cats" on the loose. The story broke yesterday. Two "cats" escaped from Andrew's Air Force Base yesterday. What the f**k! They interviewed two Army personnel and the only thing they said was, "Ummmm..someone called in...and....ummm said they saw a species of cat that they couldn't identify. We...ummm....are still searching the area. Don't walk your kids to school. Don't walk your dogs. Lock your doors." Newscaster: "Back to you, Bob!"
Again, what the f**k! I slept on this last night....as I heard helicopters circling over my house. (Did I mention I'm less than a mile from the Base.) I laid in bed thinking - I know they are not looking for 'Garfield' so, again, what the f**k!
I get up this morning..turn on the news...still nothing. They didn't find the "cats." The newscaster was speculating..."They might be bobcats. We've even got reports of a cougar and a leopard." And the congregation goes..."WHAT THE F**K!"
Ok, so...I temporarily believed the hype. I called my sister (at 6:00a) and told her to be careful when she stepped out her door and put my neice in the car. I called my mom and told her I succesfully turned on my alarm, jumped out the front door, dropped the trash on the curb, and pulled out my parking space before my security door could even close shut. I ain't no punk....but I'm not fighting no cougar-leopard-bobcat. Ok...now I'm hitting the beltway...and my mom has the nerve to say, "I wonder if they (the "cats") escaped for the National Zoo?"
(Sidebar: My mom lives in DC. The Zoo is uptown DC. The Zoo is at least 25 miles from Andrew's Air Force Base in MD.)
So....
I'm like, "Ma...what you think...the "cats" caught the Metro or they walked down Wisconsin Ave, made a left on M St, made a right on Pennsylvania Ave, stopped for coffee at the Library of Congress...stepped through the 'hood' and broke loose in PG County?" I took her silence as she knew that was a dumb-ass question. However, her question poked a nerve. It made me realize how ridiculous this was. It made me think about the Beltway Sniper...and how hearing the authoritoes say, "We...ummm....are still searching the area. Don't walk your kids to school. Don't walk your dogs....blah" felt like deja-f**king-vu. OK...so there were two crazy negroes out there capping folks...but still. Fear freezes people. While I digress....
Let's review and ask some questions:
1. If the army lost their pets...how come THEY can't tell us what kinda pussy's got loose?
2. Why does the army have Ringling Bros on the base?
3. Why did we allow these pussy's to make us temporarily lose focus of the gas issue? (Retaining the right to blog about this real soon.)
4. How fast can a leopard run?
Last, but not least............
5. IF BUSH COULD FIND SADAAM SQUATING IN A HOLE SMALLER THAN A BALL OF NAT SHIT....WHY CAN'T THE F**KING ARMY GET SOME PUSSY!
Back to your regularly scheduled program!
Ok..so...if you live in the DC area...you had to hear about the "cats" on the loose. The story broke yesterday. Two "cats" escaped from Andrew's Air Force Base yesterday. What the f**k! They interviewed two Army personnel and the only thing they said was, "Ummmm..someone called in...and....ummm said they saw a species of cat that they couldn't identify. We...ummm....are still searching the area. Don't walk your kids to school. Don't walk your dogs. Lock your doors." Newscaster: "Back to you, Bob!"
Again, what the f**k! I slept on this last night....as I heard helicopters circling over my house. (Did I mention I'm less than a mile from the Base.) I laid in bed thinking - I know they are not looking for 'Garfield' so, again, what the f**k!
I get up this morning..turn on the news...still nothing. They didn't find the "cats." The newscaster was speculating..."They might be bobcats. We've even got reports of a cougar and a leopard." And the congregation goes..."WHAT THE F**K!"
Ok, so...I temporarily believed the hype. I called my sister (at 6:00a) and told her to be careful when she stepped out her door and put my neice in the car. I called my mom and told her I succesfully turned on my alarm, jumped out the front door, dropped the trash on the curb, and pulled out my parking space before my security door could even close shut. I ain't no punk....but I'm not fighting no cougar-leopard-bobcat. Ok...now I'm hitting the beltway...and my mom has the nerve to say, "I wonder if they (the "cats") escaped for the National Zoo?"
(Sidebar: My mom lives in DC. The Zoo is uptown DC. The Zoo is at least 25 miles from Andrew's Air Force Base in MD.)
So....
I'm like, "Ma...what you think...the "cats" caught the Metro or they walked down Wisconsin Ave, made a left on M St, made a right on Pennsylvania Ave, stopped for coffee at the Library of Congress...stepped through the 'hood' and broke loose in PG County?" I took her silence as she knew that was a dumb-ass question. However, her question poked a nerve. It made me realize how ridiculous this was. It made me think about the Beltway Sniper...and how hearing the authoritoes say, "We...ummm....are still searching the area. Don't walk your kids to school. Don't walk your dogs....blah" felt like deja-f**king-vu. OK...so there were two crazy negroes out there capping folks...but still. Fear freezes people. While I digress....
Let's review and ask some questions:
1. If the army lost their pets...how come THEY can't tell us what kinda pussy's got loose?
2. Why does the army have Ringling Bros on the base?
3. Why did we allow these pussy's to make us temporarily lose focus of the gas issue? (Retaining the right to blog about this real soon.)
4. How fast can a leopard run?
Last, but not least............
5. IF BUSH COULD FIND SADAAM SQUATING IN A HOLE SMALLER THAN A BALL OF NAT SHIT....WHY CAN'T THE F**KING ARMY GET SOME PUSSY!
Back to your regularly scheduled program!
posted by a.Marie at 9:02 PM
8 Comments:
I'm making my own comment. Let's face it...no matter what happens at this point....
BUSH DID IT!
Bush made Puffy f**k up New Edition's career.
Bush made Vivica f**k up her face.
Bush caused Katrina to have victims.
Need I say more.
I told y'all he be f**king with us.
:-)
One more thing....the New Edition concert is tomorrow.
LMAO!!! Did you just make your own first comment? That shyt is hilarious...ROTF!!!!
Ok now that i got a hold of myself, let me say when I first heard this I thought why in the fuk did Andrews have 2 wild cats of some sort on their base in the first place? Is this some new military tactic? Maybe they were training them to go over to the middle east to find Osama since humans can't seem to get the job done.
I swear the Bush Administration is becoming more of a joke by the minute. Part of me wants to believe that this is another smoke screen of some sort...has anyone seen these freaking cats? I remember a few years back there was a sighting of some strange cat/dog type creature in PG county that they were trying to capture and you never heard another thing about it.
Other countries have to watch US TV and think it's only a matter of time before we collapse, I mean we got wild animals running around on military bases...how secure can we really be?
IDIOTS!!!
Hey girl!! THANKS for astopping by ny place the other day! I used to livein DC (not too far from Howard...yup, the GHETTO!LOL) and you had me CRACKING up with the path down Wisconsin turn on M street... that was funny!
And while I was reading your post I thought the EXACT.SAME.THING you did......uh....if YA'LL muhfuckas LOST the danm cats, why don't YOU all know WHAT kind they are???? Sounds suspicious girl....so just in case.....locak ya doors, don't go out at night, don't walk ya dog....... :-)
Dang. You too, a.marie? You know I called Maria and was like ma, where's daddy? I just tried him on his cell phone and didn't get any answer. Call up to the dialysis center and put him/them on alert. There's a cougar loose on Allentown Road (you know I'm a minute from the base).
Metro Access was dropping my father off after his dialysis, and I wanted him to be careful going into the house (with one good leg and a walker); or stay at the center and I would leave work early so I could go pick him up and take us home. You ain't know I'd scrap with a cougar if it meant protecting my family, did you?!
HaHa
Yeah. I believed the hype too. I had WTOP on driving home waiting for an update...and nothing. The next morning...nothing. This country, boy. There ain't none like it. We should be proud!
Ok I am laffin like shit cuz just yesterday I was like "did they find them cats yet?"
LOL@ u referring to them as pussy *tears* wooowee! You are just too dayum funny for real!
what the army doing with "cats"...that's crazy..conspiracy......watch yo back!!!
of course i'm trying to figure out why the hell would lost cats be breaking news?! these people have got to be kidding.
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