I Chased the Fucking Truck!

SIDEBAR: Ok...this is my 3rd post with the word "fuck" in the title. As Leslie would say, "You're mouth is filthy!" I just love the word...it adds that lil extra PIZAAAAAAAAZ to any statement. Ok...now on with it.

I'll take this time to let folks get a little closer to me...A.Marie.

I had a great day yesterday. The weather was nice. My grass was swaying. Dem fucking bee's that swarm around the flowers next to my front steps had rolled out and were nowhere to be found. *Shereen (my neighbor to the left who's name I don't know...but this one seems to fit) was not outside causing the PG Country draught by watering her damn weeds. *Mrs. Strange-ass (my neighbor to the right who's married to Mr. Strange-ass ('cause they are a strange ass couple) wasn't sitting in the dirt in her yard playing with Black Maggie (the black version of Bart's baby sister on The Simpsons that stays in their bedroom window)...truss...that youngin' is about 15 years-old still sucking on a pacifier. Like I said...it was a great day.

I had a late brunch at Houston's in Bethesda around 1ish. (Even though I did get a little heated when I pulled up and El Negro charged me $5 to valet park my own shit on their weak-ass lot!)

I cruised through Georgetown to do some respectable people watching.

Pause.

Questions:

1. Why do chicks march through Georgetown in their stilletoe's tippy toe'n like their feet don't hurt?

2. Why do white folks stand in the middle of the street like color-blind albino's seemingly amazed at what the colors red, yellow and green bring to civilization.

3. Why does DC continuously allow cab driver's to run the streets like a wharped driving game for the X-Box?

4. Why do people still go to Georgetown? (Besides to people watch :->)

Resume.

So...I finally make it home about 8ish. (Zoom up...that was 7 hours after brunch.) My mind told me I was hungry....or..since it was getting late...I needed a snack. I knew it wasn't shit in the kitchen. I tried to convince myself it was a "sign" and I should start getting ready for work. As I opened my window while sending a subliminal message up above....something freaky happened.

Riinnnnnnnnnnnnng...
rinnnnnnnnnnnng.......
riiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng!

I looked down the street. Here's comes a damn ice cream truck. Of course...I'm like....WHAT THE FUCK! It's damn near midnight (actually 9:00p) and a ice cream truck is rollin' through. He went down the street next to mine and the countdown began.

Pause.

Just so you know..I don't live in the hood...near the hood..or by the hood - anymore :-) I left DC for the 'burbs in '99. (What you know about Benning Road and that Go-Go beat?!)

Resume.

So...I ran down my steps...grabbed my keys and a few dolla's and coins....slid on my shoes and hit the fucking pavement. What goes in a cul-de-sac must come out. I ran (real fat girl style) down the sidewalk and waited. He came around the circle and my eyes lit up. I waved my arm (real 6 year-old like)and he pulled up.

Him (with accent): "What are you doing out here so late? You want something?"

Me: "Do I look like a night walker? I want some ice-cream!"

Him: "I usually don't come this late."

Me: "OK..but you rang that loud ass bell...so I came out. You must be selling beer 'cause all the kids should be in bed. Anyway...I want an Oreo ice-cream bar and a Big Mama Hot Sausage."

Him: "Will that be all?"

Me: "And two packs of strawberry sour-punch straws."

Him: "You have cash?"

Me: "What time is it?"

Him: "9:11p."

Me: "Exactly. That means it's too damn late to ask dumb-ass questions!"

Him: "4.50."

Me: (Handing over 4 bills and 2 quarters.) "Come earlier next time...keep the change!"

I walked back to my house feeling like Gloria in 'Waiting To Exhale' when she knew Gregory Hines was peepin' that ass. I knew some of my nosey ass neighbors were checking me out. I could give a fuck....'cause I held my head up when I chased that truck.

CLOSING: I have a confession. Maggie was in the window when I passed by. I waved my ice cream at her - real petty like. Ha ha...strange-ass baaaaaaaaaby!!